It’s Been A While…
If one reads through the series of posts, it is not obvious that it has been almost two years since I last wrote something here. Just saying.
You are now five years old. You’re about to finish your first school year in a formal pre-school. By their configuration, you will be in the preparatory level (before first grade) by June this year. We have been amazed by the things they now teach at your level. As far as my faulty memory serves me, some of the things you are being taught in school, I took up when I was already in grade school/elementary. To say that the times have changed so much is such an understatement.
I’ve been reading a book called “No Drama Discipline” by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. I have been reading it in installments. So far, I am learning much from it. The application of what I’ve learned is a different story altogether. Suffice it to say, I need a lot of practice in order to be able to live out what the book is teaching me so far. My fear is that, I may be running out of time in being able to apply its principles in the sense that I may be causing more harm in your development than good. Still, I hope that it is not too late.
One thing it is teaching me is the importance of connection during opportunities for discipline. It teaches that connection opportunities during moments of discipline support the child’s brain development towards the forming of proper values and being able to make sound decisions in the future. Removing the drama helps a child to focus better on the situation for what it is. At least that’s part of my interpretation of what the book is teaching me.
Son, when we disagree, especially at this point in time when your reasoning abilities are developing more and more each day, unfortunately, there is drama. Our emotions clash, you end up in tears often, we both get frustrated at each other, I tend to expect you to understand as an adult would, and it’s disappointing. I am most disappointed at myself. You, on the other hand, are just being yourself. In spite of this recurring scene (for now), the hope I hold in my heart burns bright – that we will overcome and we will endure. My hope lives, that I may yet be a good father to you and I can contribute to your being a good man in the future. Please bear with me a while as I continue to learn this no drama discipline thing. I believe that it’s really more for my development as a parent than it is for you as a child. Soon…
In the midst of it all, as I always say, I love you to bits and that will never change.